My freshman year of high school, I was chosen to be the starting
pitcher for my high school baseball team. I wasn’t actually that good of a
pitcher; it just so happened that I was the only one in our high school of 100
people and team of 13 who could consistently throw strikes.
A few games into the season, my team faced Miami Valley
School, another team in our conference. I was called on to take the mound. They
must’ve eaten their Wheaties that morning because they came ready to play. In the
first two innings, they scored 11 runs on us including a multi-run homer. With
one out to go in the second, my coach finally came to my rescue and pulled me
from the mound. My confidence was so shaken from the massacre that I refused to
pitch for the rest of the season claiming that my arm was hurting.
My sophomore year, I decided not to play. My junior year, we
had a new coach and he didn’t ask me to pitch, which was just fine with me. My
senior year, we got yet another new coach. Instead of asking everyone what
positions they played, he had every one try out for every position. I was still
so scarred from the Miami Valley experience that when it was my turn to try out
for pitcher, I purposely sabotaged my tryout and didn’t throw a single strike.
Needless to say, he decided I wasn’t going to be one of the team’s pitchers.
Meanwhile, I was still harboring a great deal of bitterness against Miami
Valley for what they did to me in that game three years previously.
By the midway point of the season, our team was in trouble.
All of our pitchers had sore arms and needed to save them for the games, so we
didn’t have anyone to throw balls for batting practice. As the team captain, I
decided to confess to my coach that I could actually pitch and made an
agreement with him that I’d pitch during batting practice if, and only if, he never
asked me to pitch in a game. He agreed and batting practice started.
As we got near the end of the season, I looked at the
schedule and noticed that we were playing Miami Valley School for our last
game. What better chance to get even than in my last career high school baseball
game. So I approached my coach and asked him if he’d let me pitch in that final
game. After giving it some thought, he agreed and I was set to make my season
debut on the same mound in which I had made my last debut three years earlier.
As I walked to the mound, a flood of emotions came back.
Like a tape from a bad dream, I could vividly see the previous game replay in
my head. After allowing myself a couple moments to cope with my nightmare, I
gathered myself together and began what would become the best pitching outing
of my career. We ended up winning the game by a large margin and I walked away
with a standing ovation from the crowd. It was what some would call, “sweet
revenge.”
The Biblical Perspective on Revenge
If I was faced with the same situation today, I don’t think
I’d respond the same way I did as a senior in high school. First, I don’t think
I’d sit around for three years waiting for an opportunity to seek revenge
against a team that scored double digits on me. And second, I don’t think I’d
feel the same desire to get even with them. It’s not that I have some higher
moral code that I adhere to today that I didn’t back then; I just don’t operate
that way anymore. Sometimes I talk like I operate that way, but when it comes
down to it, I can’t bring myself to take revenge on someone. And I don’t see
that as a bad thing.
Many years ago, there was a shepherd boy named David who won
the hearts of the people after defeating their arch nemesis, a nine-foot giant
by the name of Goliath. The only problem was that he wasn’t the king; a guy by
the name of Saul was the king. Saul, feeling that David was a threat to his
kingly position, sought to kill David.
Twice, Saul tried to impale David with a spear. David,
recognizing that Saul was out to kill him, fled. And Saul pursued him time and
time again. During one of Saul’s pursuits, David and his men were hiding in the
back of a cave and Saul, not knowing they were there, entered the cave to take
a dump. When David’s men realized it was Saul, they encouraged David to kill
him. But David wouldn’t do it. Instead, David stealthily approached Saul and
cut off a corner of his robe. Saul finished his business and left the cave, not
knowing anything of what David had done.
After Saul was heading on his way, David came out of the
cave and called to Saul, showing him the piece of his robe that had been cut
off. He then said to Saul, “May the LORD judge between me and you, may the LORD
avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.”[1]
How would you have responded in that situation? Would you
have taken the opportunity to kill Saul so that he wouldn’t kill you? Or would
you have let him go scot free like David did?
That’s probably a hard question to answer. So let’s put it
in modern day terms. Let’s say you’re in a meeting with your boss and a group
of high level managers. And let’s say one of the managers asks your boss why
something didn’t get done correctly and instead of taking ownership of it, he
decides to blame it on you and throw you under the bus, even though it wasn’t
your fault. I imagine most of us would be bitter towards our boss and be actively
searching for an opportunity to get revenge.
But that’s not what David did. He didn’t attempt to get
revenge on Saul because he didn’t see vengeance as something that belonged to
him; he saw vengeance as something that belonged to God: “Vengeance is mine,
and I will repay.”[2]
That’s a starkly different way of looking at it than the way in which most of
us are accustomed. Most of us think it’s our responsibility to get even with
people who wrong us. That was the approach David’s buddies took. They were
ready for him to seal the deal and get his revenge. But David trusted God as
the righteous judge, not himself. Therefore, even when he had an opportunity to
take revenge, he didn’t do it.
Up until a couple years ago, I would’ve been in the same
camp as David’s buddies. If I was David, I would’ve killed Saul, reasoning that
God had given my enemy into my hands to do with him whatever I wanted. But now,
I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to do it. Even if it was something much less
life-threatening like my boss throwing me under the bus, I wouldn’t be able to
bring myself to do something in order to try to get even.
Here’s the problem with seeking revenge. First, we elevate
ourselves to the spot of a judge; we believe it’s within our power to issue
punishment to someone based on the wrongs they’ve done to us. As the biblical
writers tells us, we aren’t judges; God is the judge. If one of us has been
elected or appointed to a position of a judge, that’s a different story. These
people need to give righteous judgment. But most of us aren’t in that position,
so we have no right to elevate ourselves to that position. And second, in the
end, revenge accomplishes nothing productive. It may offer a miniscule amount
of instant gratification, but in the long run, the only thing it does is create
a larger relational chasm between you and the other person. Is it worth it?
Are We Called to Be Pushovers?
At this point, you may be wondering if that means God calls
us to be pushovers. I don’t think so. Jesus wasn’t a pushover. And I don’t
think we’re called to be one either. So here are my thoughts in answer to this
question.
Although getting even with someone is not appropriate, I
think it is appropriate to send a message to someone who is trying to push us
around. And I think there’s a stark difference between the two. I’ll give you
an example. When I was in sixth grade, there was a kid in my class who randomly
enjoyed picking on me. Most days I tried to ignore it, but one day I decided I’d
had enough. While I was trading books at my locker, he walked by and shut my
locker on me. With only four minutes between classes and three numbers to cycle
through on my combination lock, I didn’t have time to waste opening my locker
for a second time. So instead of fiddling with the locker, I followed him out
of the locker bay, positioned myself in such a way that he was between me and the wall, and then I gave him a full on body check into the wall. I wasn’t trying
to get even; I was trying to communicate a simple message: Stop messing with
me. I’m pretty sure he got the message because that was the last time he picked
on me.
As an adult, I don’t suggest body checking people into walls
as a way of communicating a message. I’m sure you can come up with some other,
more mature ways to deal with these types of situations. My point, however, is
that sometimes it can be very productive to send a simple message to someone
who’s trying to push us around. I would highly encourage this approach over
trying to get even.
–
Have you encountered situations where you sought to take
revenge on someone? How did it go? Is there someone on whom you’re actively
seeking to take revenge? What might be a more productive approach?
