No one likes arrogant people.
You know the people I’m talking about. At some point during seemingly
every conversation, they manage to find some way to toot their own horn. They think
so highly of themselves that they believe it’s an honor for you to have the
opportunity to know and spend time with them. Sometimes they try to hide their
lofty opinion of themselves with modest comments, but you know they really don’t
mean it. You can see right through their transparent façade.
My Struggle
I have a confession to make: I’m one of these people. I’ve struggled a
lot with arrogance my entire life. I guess you could say that I was born with
it. There are days when I wake up thinking I’m pretty awesome. Before I had a
filter, I used to run around telling everyone how great I thought I was. Now
that I’m a little older, I’ve adopted a filter and learned how to mask it
pretty well, but deep down I still struggle with it a lot.
I don’t want to be arrogant. I don’t want to run around every day tooting
my own horn. I don’t want to have this perception in my head that I’m better
than everyone else and that when I show up, I’m gracing them with my presence.
At this point, you might be thinking, “Well, if you hate it so
much, then do something about it brother.” Believe me, I’ve tried. Once I began
to recognize that arrogance was not only culturally taboo but also sinful, I began
taking steps to try to eliminate it from my life. I tried to tell myself that I
wasn’t any better than anyone else. I tried to focus conversations away from
talking about me. I tried to downplay peoples’ compliments to avoid sounding
arrogant. But none of these strategic steps actually took away the problem; they
did nothing more than mask it a little. It’s like any other sin: it’s not something
I can wish away and then watch it magically disappear overnight. Nor can I pull
up my bootstraps and “get ‘er done.” I’ve decided that it’s not something I nor
anyone else has the power to fix.
My Fiery Trials
Four years ago, God decided it was time for him to begin chipping
away at my arrogance. When I say chipping away, I mean chipping away. He didn’t
take a shovel and scoop it all out at once; instead, he began chiseling away at
it one small step at a time.
After the first year of chiseling, I began thinking I was in
pretty good shape. I thought I was finally humble! But just when I got to
thinking God was done, he picked up right where he left off and kept on chiseling
away.
Another year went by and I once again noticed that more of my
arrogance was gone. But I also once again made the mistake of thinking I had
arrived, only to realize that God wasn’t done yet; he still had more work to
do.
Three months ago, I found myself in a place where I recognized the
need for him to continue chiseling away at my arrogance. So I did the worst
thing, or the best thing depending on how you look at it, I could do. I prayed
for him to humble me. Now you know what happens when you pray something like
this, right? God’s going to challenge the biggest point of arrogance in your
life. It was no different for me. The only difference was that I recognized
what he was going to do before he did it; he was going to challenge the
arrogance I exuded due to my hockey skills. I had just come off the best season
of my life. I led the league in points for most of the season and my team, of
which I was the captain, had just come away from having a near-perfect record.
I certainly had something about which to be arrogant.
As it was becoming clear what was about to happen, I was tempted
to tell God that hockey was off limits. But seeing as he’s on the throne of my
heart, I quickly recognized that there’s no area off limits to him. And even if
I tried to hold it back, it wasn’t going to do any good because he’s so good
that he always gets his way. It was going to happen one way or another, so I
could either jump on board or come kicking and screaming. As hard as I knew it
was going to be, I chose to jump on board.
Over the last three months, God has been doing exactly what he
said he was going to do: He challenged the objects of arrogance. First, our team
lost our two best players, so we finished the season with a losing record.
Second, I spent the first half of the season struggling to score. And third, I experienced
a debilitating pinched sciatic nerve which prohibited me from skating to my
full potential. To make matters worse, my nerve issues have caused me great
pain in both my lower back and leg which make it extremely painful for me to function
every day. (For those of you who may be concerned about my health, I have
consulted with a doctor and have been following orders to get healed. It’s just
taking way longer than I want it to take.)
I can’t even begin to explain how painful the past two months have
been both physically and emotionally. Yet, I’m so excited about what the pain
means for me! As one of the biblical writers once said:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of
various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces
steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be
perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.[1]
My goal in life isn’t to make it to the NHL or for that matter,
play professional hockey in any capacity. But I do have a goal to be transformed
into the image of Jesus. And since I see that the pain I’m experiencing is part
of God’s work to make me more like Jesus, why would I be frustrated with the
setbacks I’ve experienced in the last couple months? Instead, I rejoice in the
setbacks because God has orchestrated them at exactly this time in order to further
transform my heart to be like his heart and to grow my faith in him.
Once this round of chiseling is over, will I have finally arrived
at my destination of being completely humble? Not at all. I still won’t be as
humble as Jesus. Actually, I’ve realized I won’t be fully transformed into the
image of Jesus in this life.[2]
But because of the work he’s been doing in me recently, I’m one step closer to it
than I was three months ago. This is great news both for me and for the people who
have to put up with me!
Your Fiery Trials
Are you in the midst of a fiery trial? I’ve observed that the fiery
trials going on in my life give me a glimpse into the work God is doing in my
heart and I’ll bet the same is true in your life. For example, much of my
arrogance comes from me deriving a sense of security from my own abilities. God
has been removing the things from which I derive a sense of security because he’s
calling me to rely on him for my sense of security. In the same way, God has
probably orchestrated the fiery trial in your life to remove the things in
which you’re trusting so that you can trust him more.
The question is: How are you going to respond to your fiery trial?
Are you going to view it as a nuisance? Or are you going to view it as being orchestrated
by God for the transformation of your heart and the deepening of your faith in
him?
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